boys will be boys

i think i have changed my relationship outlook. i know that with every relationship that you have and that it ends you learn something new. something that will go with you on to the next relationship that you have learn to make this one a better one. i have learned over time that i cant control a person. i cant change a person. you have to let them be who they are. i understand that now. hence why jesse is out of town this weekend with the boys and men of his family down at their hunting cabin (which i hate that he hunts, poor animals). i know that he needs his time to be who he is and do what he does, i have never stopped him from wanting to do this things that he wants to do even if i do enjoy having a second pair of hands so that i can get an little bit of a long sleep in the morning (i got to function the rest of the day right?). i know that he doesnt do much of what i ask of him and he barely surprises me and cleans the house, is that ever gonna happen? prolly not, but there are little things that he does to help me that i miss. he cleans the baby bottles. grabs things for me when my hands are full of my beautiful baby girl, he helps me in the morning and allows me to sleep a bit, or even gives me an evening nap, and he gives her her bedtime bath. and its not only me that notices that he is gone and things are not right. i think addison knows too. jesse knows that addison loves her mom and wants her around all the time and doesnt barely wanna hang out with dad but she knows he is not here. he is not the one giving her a bath and getting her ready for bed. i think thats why she has been out of sorts the last couple of days. she hasnt been sleeping through the night either, shes must feel what i feel, lost a little bit. worried something bad is going to happen and we have no strong protector. i know we live in the 20 th century and i should learn to protect myself but in all reality its nice to have a strong man here that will do anything to protect everyone in his family, even poor old bentley the weiner dog.

i know it has only been the weekend but it does make a difference. even though he all know he has his quirks that drive me nuts, i sure do miss him when he is not around, and so does addison. cant wait to see him this afternoon and give him a whole bunch of crap ;)