alone.

i love being a mom and i wouldnt change my days with addison for anything but sometimes i just feel completely alone. i know jesse is here but i need friends again. but not my single non mom friends because they just dont understand my life anymore. its not about going to the bars and drinking until 3 am, or randomly going on trips at the drop of a hat. i barely even drink anymore and if i do its usually one glass of something and to even get out the door to go to target it takes me usually 45 min to make sure i have everything for addison and i usually end up forgetting something.

i have my mom friends too but at the same time there not really here for me either. they have their own lives that are just as busy as well. i just wish i could find a happy medium so usually i send my time with my mom or my sister alissa. and i cant spend all my time with my mom because she herself is in a competely different lifestyle as well. so i have my sister but i dont think she wants to hang around me and a baby all day. i just wish i had someone i could meet and have lunch with or take the kids to the park.

someone i could talk to about late night feedings, crawling babies, and the everyday lifestyle of a crazy mom on no sleep. someone that can relate to me but at the same time give me the advice that i need sometimes.

i tried to create a mommy group but no one seemed really interested but i guess i should try again and maybe see if they want to meet up for a towpath walk or something. i just dont know what to do cause in the end i need some adult interaction every once in awhile and that doesnt include talking to the dog bentley.

i dunno, sometimes i just feel so alone and i end up crying.